I am so sick and tired of everything.
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)


(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

I will finally fix up my internet connection next week, and yes I will be online more often then. I have survived without internet for two whole weeks (except when I'm trying to kill time in school during my two-hour breaks). Who says I'm too dependent on internet? I'm so proud of myself! Hehehe.

Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERRIK! :D
I know you had the greatest surprise party last night and you obviously enjoyed yourself to the max. Don't you just love all of us, Cher? Hehehe finally 21 and finally legal huh! Marina Del Rey-ians rocks!

Weekend over at SF was fun fun fun. Made quite a few new friends. Went go-karting, had nice Chinese New Year dinners, shopping and all. Finally met my two cousins Andeline and Anthony after months. And I finally get to sit in a Porsche after seventeen years of my existence. I still want my very own Lamborghini though hehehe.

Is loving someone and being faithful such a difficult task?
Akhirnya kita harus memilih satu yang pasti..
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)


(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

So many things have been happening these few days. And I'm in San Francisco for Chinese New Year right now! Haha will blog a long post when I have internet. Hehe byebye.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
I LOVE LIM SENG CHYE!
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

Valentine's Day.

Why don't I share the same joy and excitement everyone has for this special day? When all my friends are enjoying themselves and spending this special day with their darling loved ones, I'm spending it all alone. In school and at home. Alone with no family no boyfriend no friends. Alone thousands of miles apart. Alone 16 hours away. No presents, no chocolates, no cookies. No joy, no fun, no love. No calls, no emails, no smses. Only baby and Shu-Tzu actually called me to wish me happy Valentine's day. And only Melinda smsed me. I'm such a loser. And a loner. I'm drifting away from everything and from everyone. I don't know why I'm holding on to everything I have back in Singapore. Life goes on, friends come and go. Why do I always expect every single one of my friends to stay by my side? I feel like I've lost so many of them, majority of them. I should start making new friends over here before I become a loner in the super near future. Whatever, I can just go and die. I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of being so far away from everything i own. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of crying everyday. I'm tired of getting my heart broken. I'm tired of driving myself crazy. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of living in fear and pain. I'm tired of life. I'm so tired and I'm losing my strength.. And no one is there to hold me up when I'm falling. Because I'm alone.

I'm being an emo shit.
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

First day of school! And I'm in school blogging while waiting for my sis and Di to come and fetch me. (Anyway I still don't have internet connection at home, which explains why I haven't been going online or updating my blog.) SIGH my head hurts so bad due to lack of sleep last night. The good thing about this semester is: There are quite a number of cute guys in my classes! Haha at least for the two classes I had today. WOOHOO motivation to go to school huh! :D

Bought my Economics textbook for USD$65. SIGH and my textbook for Business class costs $120!! Every semester I spend like USD$300 on school books. And the queue for the book store is so super duper extremely long! I'm so not going to stand under the sun for at least one hour to buy my books. I have a feeling that this semester will be tougher than last semester. And I'm still wondering, what major should I take? Finance? Marketing?

I'm missing my babyboy so so much.. And hey, we've decided on a date to get married - 21 May 2015! All of you are invited HAHAHA!
I love my babyboy/ dear/ darling/ love/ sweetheart/ cupcake/ booboo/ goldenegg/ dumbdumb/ bigbadwolf/ fiance/ hubby/ mrlim!! <3
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

We both know, it's better if we just let it go.

Moved house. Goodbye Plaza, hello Marina Pointe! This new apartment is much bigger - probably more than twice the size of our previous apartment. And I love the fireplace! (Sounds so cool right? Haha) Moving is a really tiring job and I'm half dead. Been doing alot of packing and unpacking. And my back feels like it's going to break. But while packing the stuffs, I felt so super loved - reading all the letters my friend wrote to me, and all the presents that they gave me.











RANDY! NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS YOU LOVE ME! AND HENRY TOO! Don't kill me okay hahaha. School starts in 3 days' and I really can't wait. I'm bored out of my wits. Oh yeah, O levels result was released yesterday and I'm so proud of my friends who did so well! :) Congratulations my dearest friends, who are satisfied with their results.


Let's stay here for awhile, and cherish every moment we're in denial.
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

Baby when the miles are growing
You and I will still be going strong
No matter what your friends are saying
Don't give up on what you're waiting for
Cuz one day I'll be knocking on your door

Don't you guys just hate field camps?! #@!$%*@^!)!&
I miss my boyfriend I miss my boyfriend I miss my boyfriend! ♥ It's bad enough that we are so far apart, and now we can't even talk to each other. Aaah sexyboy, call me soon will you? (HAHAHA baby just called me. Telepathy huh!) I love it too when we say/do something at the same time baby. And like you said, we're meant to be together. Yes we are boy. Hehe muacks!

My sleepy boyfriend looks so adorable :)
Dumb dumb, come home soon okay. I miss you like crazy HUGS. I love you my one and only darling fiance. And you're the only one who can bring such great joy into my life. We will get through all the obstacles ahead of us, and we will both fight those who try to break us up together. Nothing and nobody can ever break us. Nothing and nobody can destroy the special love we share. Nothing and nobody can ever come between us. I love you darling.


That's my babyboy in the nest - Made of 24K SOLID GOLD k! Hahaha he's my precious golden egg and I love him to bits. Don't crack okay baby! At least not when I'm not there. HAHAHA you know what I mean booboo. HUGS love you so so much baby! We will be together for the rest of our lives and we will stay together forever darling. Just us and our four little kids :)



Credits to LuluBerylium from Deviantart.
I think her works are really funny. I don't know why I chose these three out of her whole collection. Haha maybe I know why. Okay, whatever. I'll post a couple more next time. Hehehe I need to continue packing now cause we're moving out in about 8 hours' time. Sigh goodbye dearest Plaza. I'll miss the gym and the jaccuzi and the Starbucks and the Ralph's. I'll miss staying so near third street and Santa Monica Beach. And I will really really miss walking to school and walking home from school.



Cause even if I am
Halfway around the world
That won't stop me from loving you
Halfway around the world
I'll still be feeling the way I do
Now I wanna hold you baby
Cause I'm gonna miss you like crazy
Even if I'm halfway around the world
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

Because I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sittin' on the grass laying side by side



Watch this superduperuber cute video - The Cuppycake Song!
I won't be online for the next few days or maybe a week because we're moving out to our new place tomorrow, and we got to fix up the internet connection and stuffs too. (Meanwhile keep my tagboard alive so I won't be so upset?) Been doing a lot of packing these few days and I'm so tired. Feels like as if my neck and back are breaking. Baby come help me lah! Hahaha take care of yourself at field camp k. HUGS I love you so much my dearest baby boo. You're my one and only love. Thank you for being so sweet darling.

Guess what? I've decided to swear off horror movies from now on. Hahaha I'm not going to watch horror movie anymore. Well, at least for a period of time. Don't ask me why, and don't laugh at me Steph. Hahah ok anyway, I broke my nail and I got a terrible blue-black, which has became worse since last week. SIGH bloody irritating. And we've been eating alot of (fattening) food. Eg: 500-calories-per-slice pizza was what we ate for dinner yesterday. And double YAY, there's 24 and Prison Break tonight!!




On the brighter side of things, we have finally talked through things nicely. And we have promised each other some stuffs. (Baby, remember that promises are not meant to be broken.) Yes, we know we'll get through this together, as long as we both do our part in this matter. I'm beginning to trust you again, so please don't do anything to jeopardize it baby. I love you boo. "I'm engaged already. I have my fiancee. No other girl will come along. There's only you baby. I'll love you with all my heart." Remember that? HUGS I love you baby fiance.



Where's the other half, darling? :)
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

I'm not deaf and all I hear are your empty promises

I feel sad and hurt and scared and confused and upset and alone.
I don't know what to do, what to feel and I'm so scared of losing you.
Hate being so far apart from you. I want to go home and be with you.
Why does it have to be so hurtful? Why can't we just be happy?
Remember the promises you made, and don't ever break your promises.

I hate liars. I hate cheaters. I hate two-timers. I hate heartbreakers. I hate self-centered people. I hate people who don't keep their promises.

Why do I love you like I do
Like I always do
You should have told me
Why did you have to be untrue
Why do I love you like I do
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

I read this from Nicole dearie's blog and I've decided to share it with everyone.

When we text a heart over the phone, it looks like this : <3
In mathematical terms, it would mean less than three.
Thus love is meant for less than/not equal to three people.
No wonder Love does not work out when there's 3 or more people.

It's so funny how so many people is asking me for angbao for Chinese New Year because they say I am married. Haha you guys gotta ask my dearest husband man! And don't forget we have to save up to support our four little kids. Hahaha ♥


I love you darling boy. And I'm sure we can work this out as long as we're both willing to. I'm trying hard not to be so cynical about all these and I'm also trying hard not to think so much about everything. But you have to do your part too alright? Please don't lie to me anymore darling. HUGS I love you so much baby. And I want to stay by your side forever and ever :) KISSES!


We went to watch "The Messengers" yesterday. It's quite scary for a Hollywood horror movie. Haha and I think that the small boy is super super duper cute and I love him so much and I feel like pinching his chubby cheeks and I can't wait to have a baby boy of my own. Hahaha darling, our kids will be cuter right? Cause their mum is so cute. Heheh HUGS!


(This picture is so scary, but I love the boy!)
This video is uber sweet and it almost made me cry. I love his voice, and I want to share it with everyone even though most of you have probably watched it. (Baby when are you going to sing a love song for me? Hahaha)


Hinggaku pasti menunggu, selama apapun itu
Demi cinta yang kurasakan, yang hanyalah kepadamu
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

Haruskah ku mati karenamu
Terkubur dalam kesedihan, sepanjang waktuku
Haruskah kurelakan hidupku
Hanya demi cinta yang mungkin bisa membunuhku
Hentikan denyut nadi jantungku
Tanpa kau tahu betapa suci hatiku
Untuk memilikimu

My broken heart just broke into a million smaller pieces again.

-

Trust is the foundation for intimate, secure and successful relationships. It must be earned and maintained with consistent actions. But building trust and feeling like your partner is trustworthy is not always easy for those who have had their trust betrayed. Once your trust has been violated, it's difficult to make it viable in your relationship again.


I need time and I need you to help me to regain that trust I used to have in you. But how can I do it when you are still doing things that hurts me, that breaks my heart, that kills me inside? I need you and your love now more than ever. Will you be there to stand by me? Will you be patient with me? Will you keep to your promises? Will you stop hurting me? Will you love me wholeheartedly?


The next few weeks or months is going to be tough for the both of us, especially since we are so apart. But I guess it will test the strength of our love. If we truly love each other, I believe we'll get through this tough time together. I will stick by you baby, as long as you're by my side. I love you boo, I really do. And I will never ever do anything to hurt you. I will hold your hand and walk with you, as long as you want me to. I will love you and care for you and support you for always, as long as I live.


Remember the video I made for you darling? I meant every single word I said in it. I will stay by your side, for the rest of my life. I will love you wholeheartedly, forever and ever. I will bring you happiness and joy, now and always. I will stay with you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. For better and for worse, I will love and cherish you. My love for you is true, and this I promise you.


Broken promises, but you don't really mind,
It's not the first time and you know it, don't you know?
Tell me why it is you only smile inside,
But when you break me into nothing, don't you know?
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again.

'I love you's does not mean anything. It's what you do for the one you love that matters. And that is the only thing that counts: Actions.
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

I don't know why I can't stop thinking and crying. My head is throbbing because of all the thinking, and I feel sick. I have never ever been this way before. Have never cried for weeks and weeks. Have never felt so much pain inside before. I guess now I know, what they mean by getting your heart broken. The pain is really unbearable. And the pain never seem to subside. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help myself. It hurts so much it drives me crazy.

But baby, I still love you, with all my heart.


-

Can't believe it's February already! Which means that school will be starting soon. (Chinese New Year and Valentines Day are coming soon too!) To be exact, school is starting in 11 days time and I can't wait to go back to school again. I sound like a super nerd but seriously, I'd rather go to school than waste my time doing nothing (which I have been doing for about a week). Spent the whole day of yesterday rewatching 24 Season ONE. Hahaha and besides, school plus homework plus tests will keep me occupied so I won't think so much and drive myself crazy with all the haunting thoughts.


Woke up at 6:30am this morning to chat with my favourite boy on the phone. It's been so long (3 days!) since we had a nice long chat and I miss him and his sexy voice and his cute laughter so so sooo much. Hahaha and baby asked me to go back to sleep before he went to bed so that we can meet each other at the usual place we meet in Dreamland. My baby boo is ever-so-cute right? HUGS I'm so in love with you darling boyfriend, and I will always love you with all my heart. Take care of yourself baby. I'm always thinking of you ♥


Me and Min Ru - Nov 2005, After our last O levels paper. Haha HONEY I miss going out with you. Remember how much fun we had on that day? We shopped like crazy and we spent such a long time at Toys R Us and we had so much fun and laughter together. HUGS honey, I want you to be that Min Ru okay? The happy and cheerful Min Ru once again. I love you girl, and there are sooo many people out there who cares for you too. I'm always here for you if you ever need me. It's not going to be easy but you're going to get through it alright? And I'll be walking by your side, holding your hand, for always. Because you are my one and only honey, and one of my besterestest friends. Cheer up my dear girl, I wanna see you smile! I love you so much honey.

HOT GUY OF THE DAY: NICKY BYRNE!



He's oh-my-goshly-sizzling-hot with such a cute boyish look! And he is such a loyal guy who married his long term and childhood sweetheart girlfriend four years ago. They've been dating for ten years! Okay I just find it really cool cause it's kinda rare for people to marry their childhood sweetheart nowadays. (Maybe my brother and Cherie can get married in the future too HAHAHA) Kay, back to the point. Don't you agree that he's oh-so-hot?

If tomorrow never comes, would you know how much I love you?
(Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you, but trusting them not to)

I love my boyfriend ♥
My life, my soul, my world.
(I chose this skin 'cos of you)


Abigail
Amanda
Andeline
Angeline
Ariane
Caroline
Cecilia
Charlotte
Cheryl.Et
Cheryl
Chui Laam
Chrystelle
Cleo
Clifton
Daryl
Dickson
Elaine
Eleanor
Eric
Estelle
Eunice
Eunice Chan
Eva
Felicia
Florencia
Fredrick
Gerard
Hakim
Huan Yuet
Hui Bin
Hui Ping
Hui Tong
Iris
Isabella
Ivan
Jasmine
Jayl
Jazreel
Jenna
Jerlin
Jerrick
Jie Chong
Jin Wen
Joanna
Joel
Joshua
Joyce
Jun Yu
Jun Wen
Kelvin
Kristine
Kum Hung
Linda
Liyi
Liying
Madeline
Mariam
Melanie
Melinda
Michelle
Midori
Min Ru
Nicholas
Nicole
Niz
Nova
Nurfa
Pearlin
Pei Shi
Pin Hua
Pui Boon
Qing Hui
Roger
Rynetta
Samantha Kong
Samantha Ng
Sheau Wei
Shu Han
Sin Yee
Siok Ling
Siyu
Sophie
Soon Peng
Stefanie
Stephanie
Stephie
Trina
Triton
Valine
Wei Hong
Wei Xian
Wysen
Xue Jun
Yang Hao
Yan Ting
Yi Hui
Yi Qing
Yuan Ting
Zheya
Zhi Wen
Ziqi

My LJ
My Youtube
Jesamel
Honeys
Dearies
Baobeis
06S403
Greenies
CCHMS.NPCC
HappyCheenaFriends

December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
June 2007
March 2008

layout: +
fonts: +
brushes: + +
image: +